Sounds a Pastor Hears on Sunday Morning

The following are actual phrases said to me over the past couple of Sundays. I love being a pastor.

“Did you see the Kentucky Derby yesterday? Wasn’t that a crazy ending?”
“Anything I can do for you today, pastor?”
“I think we will close today with ‘Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine.’”
“I am not recovering like I should be, pastor.”
“My wife is at home this morning. She can’t walk from the couch to the kitchen without getting dizzy. I’m scared.”
“My husband can’t be here. He’s worried. I’m worried. The surgery was a week ago and something just isn’t right.”
“Did I tell you it was benign!?!?!? I’ve got a new lease on life!”
“Can I meet with you sometime this week? I need some help.”
“Can my kids be baptized next Sunday?”
“I’m sharing the Gospel with my Hindu neighbors tonight. Pray.”
“I got to lead one of my employees, a young single mom, to the Lord this week.”
“Thanks for connecting me with those guests. I am taking them to lunch right now.”
“Have you started work on your book yet?”
“I know this is minor, but my dog isn’t doing well and it makes me sad.”
“Have you seen Kelly? Where’s Nathan?”
“Let’s pray.”
“Did you call your mom? Don’t forget. It’s Mother’s Day!”
“Mother’s Day has never been a joy for my wife.”
“Are you always that animated when you preach?”
“I came very close to staying home today. Boy, am I glad I didn’t. The Lord knew I needed the church today.”
“Have you lost weight?” (Honestly, this was probably my favorite 🙂 🙂 )
“Enjoy your nap.”